Trophies.....For The Win?

My kids have been involved in sports since kindergarten.  They have enjoyed primarily soccer, but also basketball, t-ball, and dance.  Overall, all endeavors have been an amazingly gratifying experience, both for them and for myself as a parent.  

As a child, both myself and my husband were involved in sports from a young age.  I excelled at swimming and basketball, my husband in football.  I can distinctly remember the "old-fashioned" gym I used to practice in as a second grade basketball player, complete with dark wood floors and oversized metal lights hanging from above.  

Why did I get involved in sports at such a young age?  I imagine most of it was a heavy influence from my parents, particularly my Dad, who was an accomplished basketball player.  I also think it was because I was an active, social child and sports was a natural activity to at least try.  As it turned out, I loved both basketball and swimming and did very well at each sport.  

Even at a young age, we competed in swimming.  There were swim meets, they kept score, I got blue ribbons and the occasional trophy.....when I won or was honored with a title such as "Most Inspirational".  

It wasn't so "easy" with basketball; there were no ribbons or trophies until high school.  And even then, it was only for accomplishing something I am quite proud of:  playing varsity basketball as a sophomore and going to the state tournament.

Did I feel I was missing something for not having a large bulletin size board of ribbons? I don't think so.  Was I bummed (or did I even know) about trophies in second grade?  Nope.  I just loved playing and hanging out as a team.  Besides, where would I put all those trophies?

So, when did this perfectly acceptable and, dare I say, normal procedure in sports change?  When was the official launch of the participation trophy?  

I have been asked by parents who are team leaders, or by the coaches themselves, if we are "going to do a trophy for the team".  It's an inevitable question, it has become a commonplace inquiry.  It seems to me that most parents are cows in a herd and just go along with what appears to be the general consensus to get them for every member of the team.  There are times I haven't been asked, it's just a statement and that your money is due by Friday.  I even heard from one parent on one of my child's teams remark that a trophy was the only reason her child was playing this year.  

First of all, let me tackle this from a financial standpoint.  Recreational sports these days are not inexpensive. There are the team fees, buying the needed gear, traveling to games, and (ugh!) snack duty.  Coaches gifts (and rightly so) are decided on at the end of the season.  So, although a trophy or medal may "only be $10", it adds up to a lot when you add it on to other expenses, as well as families having multiple children in sports.

I posed this question to my followers on my Facebook page and the crux of the conversation focused on the competitive nature of sports and the earning of the trophy.  Here are a few highlights:

"Losing is a lesson all kids need to learn...."

"...kids don't understand what it means to be an athlete...

"It depends on the age......for my son (age 8), this is crazy....."

"Losing is a great lesson in life....."

I'm certainly not saying the comments I received are a scientific survey by any means, but it certainly aids in the conversation on the subject.  My overall feeling on the topic is my concern of what I am setting as an expectation and example for my children.  My kids have had amazing seasons so far this year.  But what if they had tried their best without much success?  What if they just plain sucked?  It's like those awful contestants on American Idol who have sworn they have been told by everyone they know that they are amazing singers..  Then comes the harsh reality check, you're not! I can be a gracious, proud parent without handing them a trophy.  Can't memories of a fun season be memorialized in photographs and memories?

Ultimately, I want my kids to have a competitive spirit, fight for a win, and be bummed if they lose.  And similar to other endeavors in their lives (like school), they are rewarded accordingly.

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