Aren't We All Real Women?

By Meg Hodson

I wrote this post about 6 months ago, but felt it was relevant to a new movement I became a part of recently. If you've been on social media a lot in the past week or so, you might have noticed the #womenslives hashtag popping up in your stream. It's a collective effort of She Knows Media and Blog Her, in the hope that an influential and strong willed group of women can shine a light on the importance of women's issues. You can read more about it here. 

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Petite, regular, tall, plus. I say those words and women know what I am talking about. We live in a labeled world. We are pigeon-holed and departmentalized based on the size and shape of our bodies. Why are there different clothes in the petite section and the plus sections? We're even guided to a point in what we should be wearing based on our body type. If you're a man and you need a new dress shirt, you walk into ONE department, get measured, and get your shirt. Ahhhh, if it was this easy for women. But I digress.....

There's a trend lately where we have moved beyond these labels for clothing. We are beginning to label a group of women based solely on their size. While that in and of itself is disturbing to me, it's also the word that seems to be the go-to choice for shapelier women: REAL. 

Apparently, us tall, curvier women who wear double digit sizes are REAL women. Forget about our lanky friends. Toss aside our girlfriends who call a size 8 their standard. There's no time for you short gals. If we use cultural standards as our guideline, the real women out there have some meat on their bones. 

I think I know how this term caught fire. We "real women" are reality: we actually eat, don't workout 6 days a week, don't count calories, we aren't obsessed with sizes. That's real, that's normal. 

The problem is that may not be "normal" for all women. Some women on the thinner, lankier side work out like crazy or obsess about how many calories are in beer.  And conversely, there are plenty of shapely women who exercise more than others. If we accept these facts (and we should!), then there are plenty of women in ALL sizes and shapes that are "real women".

I sparked quite a conversation in a recent Facebook post when I shared the news story on Ashley Graham, the (wait for it....) plus-size model appearing in an ad in Sports Illustrated in their annual swimsuit issue. The general consensus was that we don't need to draw lines in the sand when it comes to models in bikinis in a magazine. If they are confident and look good, why make issue of what size she is?

As a barometer, I imagine telling my daughter what "real women" are based on this guideline. I already know her reaction....she would look at me like I had two heads if I stated only certain girls were "real". 

I want to emphasize that there is nothing wrong with working out like crazy.....or not working out at all. If you want to drink skinny cocktails, by all means do! It gets dangerous when we consider one behavior (or shape) the "reality". Why must we always compare things to a norm? Why can't we include all women? Why are we so quick to separate ourselves from each other?

In a world where women struggle with inequality daily, I feel we need to make a concerted effort to quash the use of such terms. We will never get away from them completely, I suppose. But please, I know I don't want to live in a society where only some of the real, true women aren't seen as such.