Let's Protect Our Children Online

By Meg Hodson

This is a sponsored post on behalf of Mom It Forward for AVG Technologies. All opinions remain 100% my own.

My daughter is 10 and loves Instagram. As you may know, it's probably the most popular social site for the tween set. As someone who is deeply engaged in social media, this makes me happy. I love social media. But I'm also an involved parent. I routinely monitor her account. I check what she is posting and even what her friends are posting to keep things in check. 

I am glad I have been this involved because I stopped a habit that was cropping up on Instagram.  I noticed a trend recently among her friends to run what are essentially popularity contests. She didn't see it that way at first. I explained to her that doing collages of friends pictures and asking people to vote for their favorite might make the friend who got the least number of votes feel bad. When I explained it to her this way, she realized that what seemed harmless at first could really hurt someone's feelings. I urged her to set the example for her friends and not post such photos. I even encouraged her to "vote for everyone" if another friend still did such posts. 

But online security for children goes way beyond this. While there is an easy privacy setting for a site like Instagram, what about when your children start using numerous social sites? Or when they start using the internet more regularly? Or when they get a smart phone? Terms like "locations services", "privacy settings", and "public" should become topics you address almost daily with your children's online habits.

I will be the first to admit this is tough! It's time consuming, yet necessary. That's why I am glad there are companies like AVG Technologies that make this task easier. They are leading the charge to make both the discussion with your children and maintaining their online safety easier.

First, AVG Technologies has partnered with Childnet International  to publish an interactive e-book series, Magda and Mo,, to help parents and children navigate tricky internet safety topics such as cyberbullying and safe searching. Sounds good to me!

I also just downloaded the app AVG PrivacyFix which helps control and lock-in your privacy on your PC, mobile device and tablet. With a personal, easy-to-use dashboard, I am able to monitor and adjust privacy settings online and prevent third parties from tracking mine (or my kids') activities and location. Right now, the app supports Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus, and You Tube, You also get tips on ways to block ad tracking based on your phone habits. Best of all, it's free. 

To learn more about AVG Technologies, visit them on Facebook and Twitter.

If you like what you're reading, I invite you to follow my blog.  Cheers!

Aren't We All Real Women?

By Meg Hodson

I wrote this post about 6 months ago, but felt it was relevant to a new movement I became a part of recently. If you've been on social media a lot in the past week or so, you might have noticed the #womenslives hashtag popping up in your stream. It's a collective effort of She Knows Media and Blog Her, in the hope that an influential and strong willed group of women can shine a light on the importance of women's issues. You can read more about it here. 

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Petite, regular, tall, plus. I say those words and women know what I am talking about. We live in a labeled world. We are pigeon-holed and departmentalized based on the size and shape of our bodies. Why are there different clothes in the petite section and the plus sections? We're even guided to a point in what we should be wearing based on our body type. If you're a man and you need a new dress shirt, you walk into ONE department, get measured, and get your shirt. Ahhhh, if it was this easy for women. But I digress.....

There's a trend lately where we have moved beyond these labels for clothing. We are beginning to label a group of women based solely on their size. While that in and of itself is disturbing to me, it's also the word that seems to be the go-to choice for shapelier women: REAL. 

Apparently, us tall, curvier women who wear double digit sizes are REAL women. Forget about our lanky friends. Toss aside our girlfriends who call a size 8 their standard. There's no time for you short gals. If we use cultural standards as our guideline, the real women out there have some meat on their bones. 

I think I know how this term caught fire. We "real women" are reality: we actually eat, don't workout 6 days a week, don't count calories, we aren't obsessed with sizes. That's real, that's normal. 

The problem is that may not be "normal" for all women. Some women on the thinner, lankier side work out like crazy or obsess about how many calories are in beer.  And conversely, there are plenty of shapely women who exercise more than others. If we accept these facts (and we should!), then there are plenty of women in ALL sizes and shapes that are "real women".

I sparked quite a conversation in a recent Facebook post when I shared the news story on Ashley Graham, the (wait for it....) plus-size model appearing in an ad in Sports Illustrated in their annual swimsuit issue. The general consensus was that we don't need to draw lines in the sand when it comes to models in bikinis in a magazine. If they are confident and look good, why make issue of what size she is?

As a barometer, I imagine telling my daughter what "real women" are based on this guideline. I already know her reaction....she would look at me like I had two heads if I stated only certain girls were "real". 

I want to emphasize that there is nothing wrong with working out like crazy.....or not working out at all. If you want to drink skinny cocktails, by all means do! It gets dangerous when we consider one behavior (or shape) the "reality". Why must we always compare things to a norm? Why can't we include all women? Why are we so quick to separate ourselves from each other?

In a world where women struggle with inequality daily, I feel we need to make a concerted effort to quash the use of such terms. We will never get away from them completely, I suppose. But please, I know I don't want to live in a society where only some of the real, true women aren't seen as such. 

 

What Happened To Playtime?

By Meg Hodson

My son has been bummed out as of late. "I never get any playtime anymore," he will lament after he comes home from school. First, it was the gradual disappearance of toys after kindergarten. Then, sharing time by 2nd grade was gone. Now a 3rd grader, the homework and reading have increased. Match that with busy schedules like soccer and time is limited. 

After school, depending on the afternoon schedule, we will roll right into homework to get done what we can.  Most of the time, I don't get many groans. But lately, the groans (and even anger) has increased from my son. Again he complains, "I just don't get playtime anymore and it makes me mad." 

I have a gentle conversation with him about getting older, growing up, and having more responsibility as a 3rd grader. Reading is harder at this level and thus you need to try harder. But sometimes, it is still too much for him. I can see him just not have the concentration and stamina on any given day. If you are a parent of a boy, you know they sometimes have a hard time focusing and are often fidgety (it's because of this I have my son often stand up to work....paging Gaiam for one of those awesome bouncy-ball chairs!). Even the Washington Post things kids are sitting too long in the classroom.

This is how it is, right? School is in session, its sports and school and homework. You may get a slight breather on the weekends, but even then, you at least have to read, right? These are the rules, I am following "orders". 

There's just one detail I had forgotten;  he's a kid!!  Hallelujah for kids! They have endless energy, they can find pure joy by just running or jumping, swinging on a swing is heaven, make believe play actually exists, scooters and bikes are WAY COOL. Why was I (inadvertently) pulling my son away from this? Why did I not immediately realize the importance playtime?

The thing is....I do, It just got pushed to the back burner as homework and sports came to the forefront. But playtime, I have decided, is as important as these things. Kids have to run around and work the sillies out. I live by this belief during summer, why should it be any different during the school year?

OK, real life will interrupt here inevitably. I certainly am not going to let homework and commitments slide. But I am going to make playtime an important part of the day, too....as much as I can. After all, you only get to be a kid once. 

 

Why Your 10 Year Old Doesn't Need An iPhone

By Meg Hodson

A high school friend of mine shared a great picture recently on Facebook.  It was of the bleachers in the student section of a high school basketball game.  The section was packed. Various friends were weighing in and identifying the faces in the crowd. But the one comment that stood out to me was "no one has a cell phone". Imagine that......and we survived!

Fast forward to today and a recent comment I heard from a fellow parent about a slumber party her daughter attended recently: "My daughter felt out of place because she was the only one without an iPhone." Sure, a ten year old might want an iPhone, but why exactly does he or she need an iPhone?

Technology has certainly made things easier in our lives, but it is a convenience, not a necessity. I didn't have a cell phone or iPad in junior high or high school, yet I still managed to maintain a 3.8 grade point average, play in sports, create memories, have fun, and travel. Would an iPad have made this easier and albeit a bit more fun? Certainly. Was it necessary. No.

So, I come back to my original question: why does a ten year old need an iPhone? And it's not just the slumber party story that spurned this blog post. I've noticed a lot of my daughters' friends with them in their possession. My daughter has mentioned friends that have gotten them. My daughter has even asked a few times if she could have one (or at the very least, activate her Dad's old one). To all this, I shrug my shoulders and shake my head. And all this coming from an iPhone user and fan. There are a number of reasons why:

The Cost. Even if you get your iPhone for free (which does happen readily these days as newer models are introduced), there is still the monthly cost of having an iPhone. I am fine with my daughter tapping into our wireless internet to use her iTouch or to do research on our iPad, but her having an iPhone would seem excessive to me, especially when considering the cost. 

The Absence of Necessity. Last time I checked, 10 year olds aren't alone too much. They are at school, at sports practices, dance class, at a friends' house, at their own home. In which one of those situations would they need any kind of phone, let alone an iPhone? Chances are there is an adult in all of these instances that would have a phone for use should an emergency arise. 

As a child, I found myself alone when my chain broke and I fell off my bike. I was bleeding and crying. But I also found a way to stay calm, I began to walk my bike home. I even stopped at a family friends' house on the way to see if they could help me, but they weren't home. I gained a lot of independence and courage that day.....and all without technology. 

Some might take my view here as anti-technology. That is far from the case. Certainly in my role and job as a blogger and small business owner, I use technology everyday. But that is because I have commitments that require me to use it. Ten year olds don't have such a commitment; they are free. Can't we let them truly enjoy their childhood a bit more? Can we show our children that we can function without technology and don't always need to rely on it so much?  If you choose to give you ten year old an iPhone, is it for their benefit? Or more for yours? Just because we can do something doesn't mean we necessarily should.

They Can't Pay For It. To me, having an iPhone is still considered a luxury, even for adults. Most iPhone users (myself included) have made a choice to invest in owning an iPhone. As a parent, I provide necessities for my children: a home, their clothing, an education. food. Why should I provide them a luxury, something that is paid for up and beyond what would be considered normal life expenses? I whole-heartedly embrace my children saving money toward something they really want, within reason. That teaches them responsibility. But between soccer practices, homework, time with friends, and family time, that doesn't leave much room in a 10 year olds' life to earn enough money for a monthly iPhone bill. 

I realize more and more families are saying goodbye to their land lines and going wireless. But with the options for "wireless" home phones on the rise and inexpensive cell phones for older children to use, the leap to iPhones for kids is not as natural as you might think. 

Ultimately, I think we need to find the right balance with technology: introduce our children to tech that will be fun, entertaining, and educational yet not grow them up too fast. 

 

The Power To Remember

By Meg Hodson

I was reflecting on the walk back from dropping my kids off at school on 9/11. I had mentioned to my daughter and son (5th and 3rd graders respectively) that their teachers might bring up this topic in school today. They know of this day, but I don't think quite grasp the significance yet. 

Part of my reflection was how vividly I remember what I was doing and where I was. At the time,I was a supervisor at a Portland-area Starbucks store. During our busy morning rush, my manager came from the back room, announcing that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. The first image in my head was a small plane (the type someone would own personally) or possibly a small jet, but certainly not a commercial airliner. A few moments later, a customer in line uttered the word "terrrorists".

Photo Credit: catholicmoxie.wordpress.com

The fact that this could be an act of terrorism had not even occurred to me! It was just unfathomable. I wouldn't consider myself someone who is uninformed on current events and news. Maybe it was the shock of the whole situation as the details started to unfold about the Pentagon and the plane in Pennsylvania. "How could this be happening in America?' crossed my mind silently.

I remember all those details vividly as I think back to that day. That, in turn, causes me to reflect on the lives lost as well as the heroic efforts of those on the scene. Ultimately, it affirms the importance of remembering. We must remember to honor and commemorate an act such as this. We must remember both the sadness as well as the victories. We must remember the atrocities, as well as how this has made our country stronger. We must remember.

Let's carry this over to our everyday lives, too. Whether it's the little things or the big things, let's make a point to remember.

If you like what you're reading, I invite you to follow my blog.  Cheers!