When Is A Swear Word Just A Swear Word?

By Meg Hodson

I am a blogger.  The power of words holds a special place in my heart and is very important to me.  I have always loved to write.  You might say I am fanatical about proper grammar and spelling.  I get language.  I know how to form a proper, complete sentence.  I say "please" and "thank you".  I don't start conversations with "me" or "and".  

I am fairly confident that I am instilling this tradition in my children.  I help them with their writing assignments. I force encourage them to read everyday.  I correct their grammar when they speak incorrectly.  I'm not pushy about it; I guide them.  

As a parent, my husband and I have always taught our children to not use words or phrases that we would deem inappropriate, what most of us call "swear words".  I remember vividly when I heard my first swear word.  My Mom let my sister and I watch the movie "Grease" and I openly asked my Mother what s#*t meant.  She explained the definition and, of course, told me not to use the word.  

So, I have followed suit.  We were recently watching a movie on Netflix that unexpectedly had a few notable words in it.  For many times in the past when dealing with swear words, it was always a quick "we don't use words like that" .....and that was that.  But what does this really teach our children about such words?

A swear word is not any different than any other word in our language.  It's merely letters coming together to form a word.  It is the meaning, emotion, and use we put behind those words that make them inappropriate. We choose whether to use questionable words or not.  

If one of my children accidentally slipped a swear word into a sentence, my reaction would be calm. First of all, they more than likely do not know what they are saying nor the context of the word.  Our children are little sponges and I am not going to fault them too much for remembering a word they heard.  But I would follow up and ask them if they knew what the word meant and why they were using it.  They are definitely little sponges to what I have to say.

So, when such words were uttered during the movie, we paused it and I found myself saying "it's just a swear word".  I mean, it's JUST a WORD.  My husband looked at me a little shocked and puzzled.  So, I quickly followed up that, for me, swear words are impolite words; they're not proper; they are an easy way to not ponder and think about what you are going to say.  They're an out.  

Now, I am guilty of letting the occasional swear word slip from time to time.  I don't believe it's ever happened in front of my children.  I've never been a heavy user of such words.  I suppose it's partly the way I was raised and partly a choice.  I don't chastize movies or others if they choose to use those words.  I do know it would be inproper for any child to use such words before they truly understood what they mean. When moments like this do arise when we watch a movie, I don't become self-critical as a parent.  But I do explain to my kids my views.  And if they choose, in their heart of hearts, to use such words, they can......when they have moved out of our house.

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